always loving you
by cheeer33
Summary: Somethings are a once in a lifetime event, and sometimes we take those things for granted. She was one of those things. "I'll miss you." SasuSaku family love.


**always loving you**

**summary: Somethings are a once in a lifetime event, and sometimes we take those things for granted. She was one of those things. "I'll miss you." SasuSaku family love.**

**author: cheeer33**

**disclaimer: I do not own Naruto!**

**A/N: I wrote this for my English class, so I just kind of switched the names around and decided to upload it here :)**

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**always loving you**

_I'm going to spend too many days without you near me. I'll miss you._

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She was awake.

She wasn't awake very often these days, so despite everything going on in the room - the smell of antiseptics in the air, the shiny baldness of her head, and even the quiet beeping that resounded in the background - he found himself happy that she had opened her eyes at all. He smiled at her. Far too weak to smile back, her warm brown eyes peered into his.

"Good morning." she whispered softly, sounding small in the large space of the room, and although he had long since trained himself to the chyme of her voice, he had trouble making out her words.

"Morning." he replied, even though it wasn't morning anymore. The smile felt fake on his lips, and when she glanced up at him, he knew she could tell.

He wasn't sure why, but the way that she studied him always made him feel like she could see straight through him. Through his clothes, his flesh, his muscles, straight into his soul. But then the feeling would be gone, and he would be left wondering if perhaps it had only been his imagination in the first place. He turned his face slightly, glaring at the wall in hope that the feeling would subside.

Minutes passed before he finally looked back up at her, and he realized she was still staring. "Do you want my laptop when I'm gone?"

He knew that she meant it as a joke, but there was nothing funny about any of this. He had trouble keeping the tears from his eyes. "I want your room instead," because she didn't want any pity.

It was weird to see his baby sister like this, curled up on that bed with her life slowly draining out of her. She didn't look like she was 14 years old anymore, far too small and skinny, and even her attitude had somewhat resorted back to a childish preset. But he would take what he could get.

They sat in that silence for a while, their quiet breathing almost being the only sound in the nearly empty room. It was in times like this that he tried not to let his mind wander off to a dark place. He tried to think of happy things - memories, although that only seemed to darken his mood more. Just as he had begun to drift off into a dreamless sleep, her voice interrupted him. She lived to annoy him. He would miss that, "Sasuke-kun?"

He kept his eyes glued shut, "Sakura?" the room remained silent. With a deep sigh, he cracked his left eye open, and observed his sister, who stared back at him.

She took a deep breath, her eyes conflicted and her body rigid, having to calm herself before she spoke another word. "Do you think..." she paused again, looking down at her needle ridden hands in dilemma, "Do you think that when I, you know, _pass_... I'll go to heaven?"

Their family was never all that religious, but he was glad that she had something to believe in. "Yes. Definitely." _No. There is no such thing._

"Do you think there will be cotton candy?"

She loved cotton candy. He wished she could still eat it. "Of course there will be," he spoke like he did when they were just small children, weaving stories out of thin air that were just for her ears. "Mounds of it. Mountains even. Your teeth would go rotten, except that kind of thing doesn't happen up there." _You won't be able to eat anything._

"What about Mountain Dew?"

"Oh, fountains of it... everywhere. In fact, I think it's the only thing that they drink up there." _You are going to die and there is nothing I can do about it._

"And..." she paused this time, as if pondering what she was about to say, "will you meet me up there?"

For a long moment, he couldn't speak, and he just gave her a large nod. His face felt hot, and belatedly he realized that burning, fresh tears were streaming down his face. "Yes. I'll see you soon." _I'm never going to see you again._

She paused for another moment, and this time she was smiling in that pained way that he had only seen adults smile before, "I love you Sasu-chan. You're the best big brother ever. I wish I could have seen what your kids looked like."

"You would have been a great aunt." he told her, and had to fight the urge to grab her and hug her. Because _she knew._

"And don't you dare marry Karin! I hate her, you know?" for the first time in days she actually smiled at him, and it was full of teeth and heart like the way he remembered it. He knew it would be the last one he would ever see.

"Yes." he said, because that was all he could manage.

Silence again.

"You know," she said that a lot, "I don't have a lot of time left."

_You're right_. "No, you are going to live. You're going to beat this."

She smiled at him bemusedly, and he realized how much older than him she was. She had grown up a lot these days. Something knotted in his stomach, and he continued to cry, silently, his entire body shaking with each movement. It took him a few moments to realize that she was crying too, that they were both crying large, large, _large_, salty tears. They both knew that things would never be the same.

"I'm scared." she told him.

"Me too."

"I'm going to miss you."

"I'm going to miss you more," he told her with confidence, because he knew he would.

"I wish things had been different."

"But they weren't."

"They weren't," she hummed in agreement.

With that, the conversation was over, and he reached a hand across the arm of the chair to clasp her hand in his. She couldn't squeeze back, but these days he would take what he could get.

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